I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
