i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
Randomize
