just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Randomize
