we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
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