so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
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