She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Randomize
