yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Randomize
