Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
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