im drinking this country out of the recession.
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
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