Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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