hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
Randomize
