It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
i believe in u and ur pee
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
