Old men and throwing up are my life now.
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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