you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Randomize
