Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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