I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. �Hello 29...
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
Randomize
