Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Randomize
