Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
Randomize
