ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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