i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Randomize
