I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
apparently the secret to your success is patron
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
Randomize
