So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Randomize
