Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
