i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
I want you more than these girls want KFC
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
Randomize
