I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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