Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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