is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
