If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. �Hello 29...
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
