Texts From Last Night · alicious1234's Favorites

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alicious1234's Favorites Texts:

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(804): View more from Virginia

Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.

Fav 13 5592 2023
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(619): View more from California

Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"

Fav 35 6175 8824
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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this

Fav 29 17913 1675
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(309): View more from Illinois

Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete

Fav 36 6631 1544
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(604): View more from British Columbia

She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.

Fav 112 53247 2386
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(780): View more from Alberta, CA

Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.

Fav 10 1423 4576
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(813): View more from Florida

He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL

Fav 56 1894 6423
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