Texts From Last Night · hot4hagrid's Favorites

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hot4hagrid's Favorites Texts:

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(615): View more from Tennessee

i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.

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(301): View more from Maryland

i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test

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(801): View more from Utah

He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.

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(304): View more from West Virginia

You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.

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(651): View more from Minnesota

he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.

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(207): View more from Maine

I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?

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(416): View more from Toronto

the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night

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(972): View more from Texas

so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.

(214): View more from Texas

so how much did i say i owed you?

(972): View more from Texas

$5 and a new fuck buddy.

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