Texts From Last Night · jeets03's Favorites

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jeets03's Favorites Texts:

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(734): View more from Michigan

you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"

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(702): View more from Nevada

Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??

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(501): View more from Arkansas

we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"

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(603): View more from New Hampshire

If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.

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(205): View more from Alabama

Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.

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(805): View more from California

you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible

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(703): View more from Virginia

Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.

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(715): View more from Wisconsin

Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!

(218): View more from Minnesota

I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.

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(218): View more from Minnesota

Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?

(1-218): View more from Minnesota

Both?

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