Texts From Last Night · rekhyt's Favorites

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rekhyt's Favorites Texts:

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(920): View more from Wisconsin

He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.

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(703): View more from Virginia

BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.

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(218): View more from Minnesota

you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"

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(248): View more from Michigan

new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.

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(386): View more from Florida

after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.

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(508): View more from Massachusetts

awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?

(1-508): View more from Massachusetts

you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.

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(513): View more from Ohio

You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.

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(857): View more from Massachusetts

seriously iPhone. stop autocorrecting all my fucks into ducks. you're making all my strong worded texts look harmless and adorable.

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