Texts From Last Night · shotpongretard's Favorites

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shotpongretard's Favorites Texts:

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(859): View more from Kentucky

I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.

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(203): View more from Connecticut

The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.

Fav 4 4580 1054
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(928): View more from Arizona

note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea

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(618): View more from Illinois

I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.

Fav 11 4415 1581
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(702): View more from Nevada

So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.

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(845): View more from New York

im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars

Fav 37 2125 5085
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(502): View more from Kentucky

Dude, just got a bummer.

(1-502): View more from Kentucky

What??

(502): View more from Kentucky

A blow job from a homeless chick.

Fav 27 1270 2253
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(925): View more from California

I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.

(916): View more from California

You're drunk. Make complete sentences.

(925): View more from California

It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.

Fav 13 2839 1011
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