Last Night in Massachusetts (508)

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• (508): View more from Massachusetts

  ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester

  (1-508): View more from Massachusetts

  Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B

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• (508): View more from Massachusetts

  Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.

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• (508): View more from Massachusetts

  Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.

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• (508): View more from Massachusetts

  she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.

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• (508): View more from Massachusetts

  he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.

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• (774): View more from Massachusetts

  So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.

  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth

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• (508): View more from Massachusetts

  He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.

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• (508): View more from Massachusetts

  He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey

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• (508): View more from Massachusetts

  I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity

  (1-508): View more from Massachusetts

  That is awesome that you did that.

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• (508): View more from Massachusetts

  i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now

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• (508): View more from Massachusetts

  I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!

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• (508): View more from Massachusetts

  Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher

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• (508): View more from Massachusetts

  I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.

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• (508): View more from Massachusetts

  Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk

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