Last Night in Illinois (630)

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• (630): View more from Illinois

  don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here

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• (630): View more from Illinois

  after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked

  (708): View more from Illinois

  so?

  (630): View more from Illinois

  then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas

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• (630): View more from Illinois

  They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.

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• (630): View more from Illinois

  shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.

  (1-630): View more from Illinois

  you dont need a face to have sex

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• (630): View more from Illinois

  My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'

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• (630): View more from Illinois

  I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?

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• (630): View more from Illinois

  I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People

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• (630): View more from Illinois

  The girls stopped by my apartment. They caught me naked with a nearly empty bottle of vodka in one hand, drawing crop circles in the carpet with the vacuum.

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• (630): View more from Illinois

  Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.

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• (630): View more from Illinois

  note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...

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• (630): View more from Illinois

  You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.

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• (630): View more from Illinois

  You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot

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• (630): View more from Illinois

  slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed

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• (630): View more from Illinois

  If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.

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