just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
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