Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
Randomize
