susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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