he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
I just forgot I was standing up.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
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