He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
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