drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
Randomize
