whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
