My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
Randomize
