i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
There r osticjed everywhere
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Randomize
