he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Randomize
