i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
Randomize
