Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
Randomize
