A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
Randomize
