My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
You are a genius and a whore.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
