so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
this just has baby written all over it
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
